Cliché Central

Normally, I would never reveal such top-secret details as this on such a public place as Tumblr, but in light of recent inventors block and lack of funds, I believe it to be necessary to disclose these details before this project is forever lost. The torch needs to be passed onto a new Olympic runner. This project has been the subject of many hours of painstaking research, at times when I could not find anything better to do. Now I will dispense this information.

Hey! You there! How many times have you been on the road or on the bus and really could have used a nice hot burrito or Easy Mac? A lot of times. Well, not to worry anymore because the future is now. With these new PortaMikes, anything is possible! PortaMikes are your own personal portable microwave, powered by nothing more than a few potatoes and possibly a hand crank. Using the conductivity of potatoes in water, we can use the electricity to power a low-voltage light bulb inside the cardboard microwave. Amazing prospect, right? However, the problem with this general scenario is the power. While potatoes are a valuable, earth-friendly substance, on average, they can produce up to 1.2 volts of electricity per potato. In an average circuit with 5.5 amps of resistance, a 60-watt lightbulb would take 10.9 volts just to light up. That’s approximately 9 potatoes just to light up, not to mention sustaining the light long enough to even warm up the food. That’s a lot of French fries. If you introduce a serious hand/foot pedal crank, that could produce up to 60 watts, but a professional grade crank costs $550, according to http://www.windstreampower.com/Human_Power_Generator.php. In other words, if you’re willing to spend about 20 minutes pedaling this thing like a bicycle for what would be about 20 seconds in a regular microwave, well then you’re golden! And if you’re willing to spend $550 on it. It would also be possible to link together a whole network of mice running in wheels to generate power, but when that happens, this thing starts to lose its portability in the first place. It also loses that when you hook up 10 potatoes to it… it’s a difficult concept to generate enough power to heat up food for that long, but I’m sure it’s not impossible. But for now, unless someone wants to take up this project and find a miracle way to generate power, it might be a lost cause. =( There is always nuclear power, however, which should be enough to power it, but that would involve risking messing around with raw plutonium and uranium and carrying it around with you just so you can heat up your food. So yeah.