Cliché Central

As I sit here struggling to focus on my forthcoming term paper due Friday, I feel ludicrous writing this paper according to the books, because no matter what they say, I believe that their thesis about my topic is false and erroneous. My term paper will reveal the truth that has so long evaded professional historians and lawyers everywhere, as I have discovered a crucial new development in my topic that I am quite appalled no one else has noticed until this point.

My topic is the Sacco and Vanzetti Trial, where Italian anarchists Nicola Sacco and Bartolomeo Vanzetti were found guilty and executed for the double murder of a paymaster and his bodyguard.

While this is all fine and dandy, it is sadly not realistic at all and is completely ficticious.

I have discovered through intense research that there is no record of a Nicola Sacco or Bartolomeo Vanzetti having ever lived in the United States. There is not even records of them in Italy (although I did find an approximate match, Logan Bartholomew, who may end up being a critical player in this gameplan).

The truth is, in 1920, MGM Studios produced a movie entitled Sacco and Vanzetti. It was a smash hit and it went straight to the top of the box office. The American public liked it a little too much, however, and they started to believe that what occured in this movie actually happened. The director (coincidentally the great-grandfather of M. Night Shyamalan) repeatedly made efforts to inform the public that the movie was indeed fiction and was not intended to be taken literally, but, the more he discredited his own movie, the more the American public took it to be fact.

The actor who played Nicola Sacco, wanting to cash in on his new-found stardom, wrote a novel about the story of Sacco and Vanzetti, clearly labeling it fiction when he distributed it to bookstores and libraries. However, the avid fans took it to be truth and put it under the biography section, where it was checked out and bought until there were no more copies.

During my research I stumbled upon one of these original copies of his novel and found the fiction label in the corner of the title page. Also, I realized that it said, “A Novel” on the front cover. I knew that I was on to something big here, though if I stated the true thesis I would be flogged by my peers and laughed at. Though I was staking my professional reputation on the line, I knew I had to tell someone and let the truth be known. I located my colleague Thomas Wittler, a reknowned scholar, and told him of my findings. He was at first in a state of shock, because he too had suspected the same thing. His assigned term paper was also over Sacco and Vanzetti, and he had grown a little suspicious of the whole story too.

The story is just too smooth to be true. Especially the part where they allow a 20-minute recess from filming to take a quick coffee break and adjust their makeup. I have never heard of a professional court ever taking a coffee break, although I can’t say that I’ve ever ruled out the possibility, nor that I would not be opposed to such measures.

It was the greatest crime of the century, alas, paradoxically, it was the least criminal of any crime ever committed, unless making big bucks is a crime. If so, then lock me up, officer.

WORKS CITED

Sacco and Vanzetti. The Wikipedia Foundation. Web. 30 November 2009

Wittler, Thomas. Personal interview, 30 November 2009