Cliché Central

They say that dog is man’s best friend, but over the last three months, I’ve come to realize that fish are man’s real best friend. My two guppies, Jeffy and Sommer, brothers until the bitter end, taught me that. We are gathered here today to give a fond farewell to our dearest Sommer, who passed away late Wednesday evening, Dec. 28.

Sommer, though you may not be here with us anymore, I know that you’re off to that great aquarium in the sky now. Though we may not have known each other for long, you left an impact on me that is hard to explain or describe in words. It is truly sad to be split apart right before the new year, but know that wherever you are, you’re in a better place (especially if the world’s about to end anyway).

From the first day we bagged you and Jeffy up from the PetSmart by Towne West, I knew that we would be friends. I always felt bad because I was never completely sure you and Jeffy enjoyed living in the bowl. I fed you every day and cleaned out the tank every week or two, even adding fresh tank decor with every water change. I gave you that little house for you to swim in and call your own, but I guess you weren’t one to be cooped up. You were always out exploring the vast, 2-gallon wildnerness of the tank with Jeffy, whom you would playfully nip at every now and then.

It was an odd relationship between you two, because I witnessed your frequent spats and nippings, but when push came to shove and the tank was being rocked around when it was being transported, you guys clung to each other like brothers.

You were always there for me when I needed someone to talk to, and those little eyes with the flapping fins are going to be hard to forget.

We’ve had our share of good times - I still remember that time when you and Jeffy got fish drunk off of some wine that found its way into your bowl. I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. That time when I tried a little bit of your food, “just to see how it tasted.” No offense, but I’ll leave it up to you guys to finish that stuff off. I don’t know if you saw it or not, but I regret that time when I was quoted in the Vantage as saying that you guys bored me. Now you’re not here to hear my apologies, but here they are.

From Sept. 27 to Wednesday, we had a good run, you and I. I hate to see it end like this, but we cannot escape the inevitable, I guess. As we go on, I’ll remember all the times we had together.

You are survived by your brother Jeffy, who is unused to having so much tank space to himself. He may not understand now but he will later. You now find yourself buried next to my old betta, Robert, in the southeast corner of my backyard. I know you never knew him, but he was your cousin in a way and was also a loyal, valiant fish. Your funeral was fairly well-attended for a fish, as three people came out to pay their last tributes to the fish that I hereby nominate for Fish of the Year 2011.

It seems only fitting that I should discover you dead, laying on one of the decorative seashells lining the gravel of the tank - a fitting end for a fitting fish.

So good night, sweet fish, and flight of angels sing thee to thy rest.

Matt Riedl

RIP Sommer 9/27/11 - 12/28/11

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